2017 will always be the year we welcomed Jude Oso Pulfer. It took me many months (and possibly years..) to process the birth of my first beautiful son Indra. I love thinking about how my understandings of birth and the telling of my experiences will evolve over time.
When Jude was born, I labored physically alone for the majority of it and never felt a shed of loneliness. This was something he and I did together.
Dilation began the evening before and after updating my midwife, we attempted a night of sleep. We were all successful and all rested a fantastically full night. I will always remember the feeling of opening my eyes the next morning.. Motionless and waiting to see if a contraction would come.. It did. I was 3-4cm at this point and active labor began with a sense of wonder. I lit candles, chanted and created a contained nest for myself for many hours. The rushes that built and ceased were steady yet peaceful and I experienced presence throughout. My midwife saw me regularly and left, at my request. I felt very tuned to my body and able to both speed up and slow the process as I desired. I wanted our babe to join us after Indra’s midday nap, so I patiently waited and took my time with the labor through breath and stillness. I asked our dear photographer friend (it was also her birthday too!) to arrive at 2pm. Indra woke up just after her arrival and Jude was born just before 3pm. The photo below was snapped minutes before Jude’s birth. A couple times earlier that day, Michael walked through the room and would say, “Whoa this time is so different! It’s crazy!” It was different. They can’t even be compared. And Jude’s birth was very peaceful and soft.
The transition (when the babe travels out through the birth canal) was the most challenging turn. I am grateful for the gigantic feat that birth is and the way it finds me forcibly humbled. Without it, I know it would be nearly impossible to respect the importance of remaining in a state of rest. Which is likely my most proud piece of the puzzle that formed this birth.. The bonding, the bathing, the herbs and the treats that followed his birthday are such sense inducing memories. I don’t think I’ll ever eat a date again without remembering my first 40 days of life with Jude.
More on that later.
2017 as a family of four means a rich journey of parenting and co-piloting life with my Michael. New Years Eve is our wedding anniversary and while challenges me more every day (I think we had our biggest parenting disagreement yet earlier..) I am more confident and trusting of our roles and love every minute. Grateful to be the mama of your sons, Babe.
As I melt into the magic that was my year of a blissful birth, I find myself with a sense of limitlessness. Anything is possible and I am rich with that same sense of wonder.. what will happen? Where will this life take me? Ready and willing to flow with it and delighted to dive deep and dig in.
Om namo Lakshmi ✨